Closet of Glass
by NemesisFate
Summary: Harry wants to come out, Severus doesn't. Harry finally makes him see reason. HPSS slash.


Title: Closet of Glass

Author: Nemesis

Feedback: Really not mine. Such a pity, such a pity. As it is, they belong to J.K. Rowling.

Pairing: HP/SS

Rating: PG-13

Beta: My girlfriend, even though she hates it.

Summary: Harry wants to come out; Severus doesn't. Harry finally makes him see reason.

Challenge: Coming Out Challenge

Archive: Dawn-to-Dusk Wave IX

"Jealous, Black?" Severus taunted. "You should be."

Sirius lunged at Severus. Remus barely managed to grab him in time.

"You bastard!" Sirius hissed. "How dare you!"

"How dare I what?" Severus asked with an air of innocence.

"How dare you touch my godson?"

"Sirius, you don't know the full story. Maybe you should ask Harry about it instead of accusing Severus," Remus placated his lover. He looked up at Severus. "And you, Severus, stop baiting him. You aren't helping matters any. Now that you've gotten Sirius riled, you're taunting him further simply to see him blow. You know perfectly well that you're in no danger now, so you sit back and watch the show, so to speak. Enough."

"I know what I saw! He. Was. Touching. Harry."

"Shut up!" Remus snapped. "Why don't you ask Harry about it instead of levying accusations against Severus? You have no idea what happened in there. None. Honestly, the way you're going on, one could get the image that they were killing each other."

"What they were doing is worse," Sirius protested.

Severus opened his mouth to deliver some scathing invective when Remus looked up at his and shook his head. "Don't even think about it."

Severus shut his mouth. He had seen Remus absolutely, implacably furious once before, and it seemed Remus was fast heading down that route again. The fact that Remus almost never got angry was enough to shut both Severus and Sirius up.

Remus let go of Sirius. "This is ridiculous!" he snarled. "The two of you, grown men both, acting like three year olds."

Remus whirled on his heel and swept out of the room. Neither Sirius nor Severus made a single move, still feeling Remus' frustration in the room. Both of them were grateful Remus had excused himself before his anger got out of hand.

Sirius took a deep breath. "What, exactly, was going on in there?"

Severus repressed all snarling, sneering, smirking, and otherwise nasty urges and answered calmly, "Well, I hadn't seen him for a while, and we, well, needed each other, so – rather foolishly, I might add – we didn't wait until we got back to my rooms, but rather… um… in the broomshed. Where you found us."

"So, it's serious?" Sirius asked, doing his best to remain calm, if only to survive Remus' frustration.

Severus nodded. "Quite."

"Then I shall leave you alone. But if you hurt him…." He left the threat hanging.

_Three years later_

"Severus, I don't understand you anymore!" Harry snapped.

"I don't see what you don't understand."

Harry snarled, furious. "Why are you hiding? You never want to tell anyone. You never want me to tell anyone. You never want to go anywhere with me. Are you ashamed of me?"

"No."

"Well, you're doing a very good job of hiding it! I'm good enough to fuck in your rooms, good enough that you rub it in Sirius' face, but I'm not good enough to tell anyone else that you're involved with me? You fucking bastard!"

Harry whirled on his heel and stormed out of their rooms. Severus sat down and buried his face in his hands. "You don't understand," he whispered to the empty room. "I'm not ashamed of you. I'm ashamed of me."

He stared into the merrily roaring fire. "And now, because of my shame, I've lost you. Lost the only thing I truly cared about in my life."

Harry went straight to Ron and Hermione's house and knocked on the door. Hermione opened it, her youngest child in one hand. "Hey, Harry. Come in. Ron, Harry's here!"

Ron came down the stairs quickly. Their five-year old child, Alexys, ran to Harry, hugging him around the legs. "Uncle Harry!"

"So, what's wrong?" Hermione asked, quickly reading the expression on Harry's face.

Harry sighed. "Nothing. I just wanted to get away for a bit."

Ron smiled. "Well, you're always welcome here."

Alexys looked up at Harry. "Uncle Harry, how long are you going to stay here?"

Harry looked down at her. "I don't know, Alexys. Uncle Harry's got some things he needs to think through, and he didn't want to do it at home."

"Oh." Alexys let go of Harry.

"You know, you look just like your aunt," Harry said, kneeling down next to her. "I knew your aunt when she was in school."

"Aunt Ginny?" Alexys asked.

Harry nodded.

Alexys smiled brightly. "Thank you!" She ran off, saying something about showing Harry a drawing.

Harry straightened. "She's very cute."

"What do you have to think through?" Hermione asked.

Harry shrugged. "Just some stuff. I don't really want to talk about it yet."

"You can stay here for a bit, if you want," Ron offered.

Harry smiled. "Thanks. I think I will."

Five days later, he had calmed down slightly, although he was still not ready to return. He sat at the table in his pajamas, sipping his coffee and reading the Daily Prophet. Ron came down the stairs. "The bathroom's free, Harry, if you wanna shower."

Harry stood. "Thanks. I think I will."

As he was dressing after his shower, he heard the doorbell ring. He thought nothing of it until Ron called up the stairs, "Harry, Snape's here, and he's looking for you!"

Harry rushed down the stairs, some of the previous anger he had felt rising up. He stopped before he entered the sitting room, just in time to hear Alexys demand, "Who are you?"

He peeked into the room, making sure Severus couldn't see him.

Severus squatted down to look Alexys in the eye. "I'm your Uncle Severus. Who are you?"

"I'm Alexys Weasley," Alexys answered, giggling as Severus shook her hand seriously. "But I didn't know I have an Uncle Severus."

Severus smiled enigmatically and shrugged. "I'm looking for your Uncle Harry. Have you seen him?"

Harry entered the room. "What do you want, Severus?" he asked harshly.

Severus stood and the smile fell from his face. "I want to talk to you."

Hermione entered the room unobtrusively and quickly removed Alexys, shushing her.

"What about?"

"What you were talking about the other day."

"No. You've had your time. I've given you months to finally listen to what I'm saying. I can't believe you. You wait until the last minute. You couldn't face talking to me about it until I walked out on you. I mean nothing to you."

"No. No," Severus answered, stepping close to Harry. "No. God, no. I love you, Harry. I love you, and I've been blind. Blind as a bat. I. Love. You."

Harry stepped back. "Oh, really? Because you're certainly doing a good job of hiding it."

Severus bit back his sarcastic retort. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Why now?"

"Ever since you left, I've missed you like hell. Our rooms are empty without you. The fire's not as bright when you're gone. The wind is colder, the walls more unforgiving, the castle less lively. My life is nothing without you in it."

"Then why won't you let me tell anyone? Are you ashamed of me?"

"No," Severus answered. "I'm ashamed of me. I look around, and I see people younger than I, more beautiful than I, sexier than I, and I think to myself, 'Harry could be with one of them.' And I didn't want to tell the Wizarding World _I_ fell in love with you and that you fell in love with _me_. Don't you see? I was never ashamed of you. I was ashamed of me. And now, because of my shame, I think I might have lost the only thing truly worthwhile in my life."

All of Harry's anger left him. He searched for words to say. He finally managed to choke out, "No. No, you haven't."

"I was hoping, if you're not too angry at me, that you would go to a nice, cozy little restaurant I know with me tonight."

"Really?" Harry's eyes were bright and hopeful.

"Really."

"What about…"

"It can go screw itself. I nearly lost you once because of my stupidity. I'm not going to do it again."

Harry smiled and embraced his lover. "I love you."

Severus smiled. "I love you too."

They finally pulled apart.

They went to the dining room, where Alexys was sitting on Hermione's lap. "But Mommy, why did I have to leave?"

"Because, Alexys, Uncle Harry and Uncle Severus needed to talk to each other, and it's very impolite to listen to other people's conversations."

"Uncle Harry looked angry."

"I'm sure he was. Sometimes, even though they love each other very much, Uncle Harry and Uncle Severus fight. Sometimes, even though they love each other very much, they get angry at each other. You get angry at Daddy and Mommy sometimes, don't you?"

Alexys nodded.

"But you still love us."

Alexys nodded again. "So Uncle Harry and Uncle Severus still love each other?"

"Very much so," Severus answered.

Alexys turned to them. "But why was Uncle Harry angry at you?"

Severus sighed and sat down. "Well, you see, I did something Uncle Harry didn't like a lot."

"You should say sorry, you know." Her voice lowered in a stage whisper, and she leaned forward slightly. "Sometimes, Mommy gets angry at me because I didn't do something she asked, and then I say sorry, and then she's not angry at me anymore."

Hermione chuckled.

Severus smiled wanly. "Sometimes, Alexys, there are hurts so big, a sorry can't make them go away. I made Uncle Harry very, very sad and very, very angry, and I needed to show him that I really did love him."

"What did you do to make him so sad and angry?" Alexys asked curiously, with almost a trace of fear. "I can't think of anything that could make Uncle Harry very, very angry. He's always smiling."

Severus looked up at Harry, who was standing next to him and smiling. "I know," Severus answered finally. "Uncle Harry does smile a lot. But even Uncle Harry can get angry, and I didn't listen to him when he needed me to. I was a fool, you see, and Uncle Harry finally slammed the door in my face."

"That must of hurt," Alexys answered, wrinkling her nose.

Severus chuckled. "It means that he left me. He came here, it seems, and I wandered around for a few days and tried to figure out what was missing. And then I realized Uncle Harry was missing."

"But didn't you realize that when he left?"

"Uncle Severus means that he realized why he was so sad after Uncle Harry left," Hermione explained.

"Oh." She turned to Severus. "How are you my uncle Severus?"

"Well, I'm your uncle Harry's partner."

"Partner?"

Severus looked entreatingly at Hermione. She shifted slightly. "You know how you have a Mommy and a Daddy?"

Alexys nodded.

"Well, that means that your mommy loves your daddy very much. But sometimes, instead a woman and a man loving each other, a man and a man or a woman and a woman love each other. Uncle Severus and Uncle Harry are both men, and they love each other very much. Sometimes, it's difficult for them to find a word to describe each other."

"Oh. But Daddy and Uncle Harry love each other, too. So why is it different?"

Hermione took a deep breath. "There are many different kinds of love. There's the kind of love I feel for you, and the kind I feel for my sister, and the kind I feel for my friends, and then there's the kind of love I have for Daddy. And they're all very different. Uncle Harry and Uncle Severus love each other in a different way than Uncle Harry and Daddy do. They love each other in a very special way. There's nothing wrong with that."

Alexys nodded slowly. "So that's how Uncle Severus is my uncle? 'Cause he loves my uncle Harry in a special way?"

Hermione nodded. "Now, can you run and play with Daddy for a bit? Mommy wants to talk to Uncle Harry and Uncle Severus."

Alexys nodded and slid off Hermione's lap. Hermione looked at them. Harry pulled over a chair and sat down.

"Funny, I never thought the first time I would refer to you as 'Severus' would be talking to my daughter," Hermione said, attempting to break the awkward silence.

Severus smiled wanly. "You may call me 'Severus.' I have nothing against it. You are no longer my student."

"What's going on?" Hermione asked. "The only thing I know is that you two were about to scream at each other in front of my daughter."

Harry blushed, and Severus averted his gaze. "Yes, we are sorry about that," Harry apologized.

"We had some… problems."

"That's putting it lightly," Harry retorted, without any true bite to his words. "I walked out on him."

"Why?"

Severus looked at the ground. "Because I was a fool. I couldn't show him I loved him. I wanted to hide, he didn't."

Harry grasped his hand. Severus offered him a small smile.

Hermione chuckled. "You never really were in a closet. The love you two have for each other is so enormous, you can't hide it. The only closet the two of you were in was a closet of glass. We could all see you in it, but you still felt restrained."

Severus glanced over at Harry, who smiled.

"So, what are your plans now?" Hermione asked.

"I'm taking him out to dinner tonight. We're shattering the glass closet."

Hermione smiled. "That's good. It would do you two a world of good."

They chatted for some minutes, then Harry excused himself and Severus. "We should get home and figure out what to wear and how to handle the press."

Hermione nodded. "Don't become strangers."

Severus led Harry to the restaurant.

He looked at Harry with warm eyes over their meal. As they were starting their dessert, a reporter rushed up to them.

"Harry Potter!"

Harry looked up with no small amount of trepidation.

"And you are?" the reporter asked.

"Professor Severus Snape," Severus answered.

"Wonderful, wonderful," the reporter answered absentmindedly.

"Who are you?" Harry asked.

"Oh, I'm Ken, and I'm with _Witch Weekly_. Do you mind if I ask a few questions?"

Harry opened his mouth to say 'yes,' when Severus spoke.

"No. What are they?"

Ken looked surprised. "Well, I was… erm… wondering exactly what… well, Mr. Potter's um… status is at the… at the moment."

"Oh, really? Why would you wonder?"

"Um… well, because… he's… um… sitting across the table from… er… his Potions Professor… and… um… right."

"Happily tied up for the rest of my natural life," Harry answered finally. Severus' dark eyes turned from Ken to Harry, his lips quirking up slightly in a smile.

"Right… but, well, previously, you… um, gave indication that… you were… well, with another."

Severus raised an eyebrow. Harry mouthed to him, "There's only been you, love."

"Oh, really? I don't recall having given that impression."

Ken blushed cherry-red and stammered for a few moments. "Yes… well… um…."

Harry took pity on him and said, "You see, there has always been someone, he just wasn't ready to tell anyone yet."

Ken nodded slowly.

Harry leaned back. "That's it, really."

Severus smiled and rubbed his hand.

Ken left very quickly.

Harry chuckled. "That was surprisingly amusing." He sighed. "We'll hear about this tomorrow morning in the _Daily Prophet_."

"True," Severus conceded. "But, after all, that's exactly the reaction I was hoping for. I was wrong, Harry, in placing you in that dreadful closet of glass Mrs. Granger-Weasley referred to, and now I am going to do my utmost to smash it into smithereens. I'd rather lose every shred of dignity and pride than lose you."

-- End


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